TechNicaL JoKes

Whatz a PJ ?
 Obviously "a poor joke"
 Whatz a (P + i J)?
 - A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
- Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.
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 A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
An IT engineer meets another.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
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 A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert.
He wants to take a bath,
but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water
anywhere around...
what can he do?
-He will integrate his d- lux car to get Lux + c (constant of integration)
Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.
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Tortoise and rabbit gave IIT-JEE exam and tortoise got 80% and rabbit got
81%. Both wanted admission in a good engineering college, cut off was 85%.

Rabbit dint get but tortoise got in.... How?
.....
.....
.....
.....
Ans: Remember tortoise had won the race when you were in first standard..
So.. Sports quota!!!!
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Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rightin front of Einstein...........
Einsteins counting......  97,98,99..... 100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims tht he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves tht he is not newton..........

HOW?????????.................
His proof:
Newton says:
 I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means i am Newton per meter square......Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square = Pascal
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Why does a dumb cat fall while walking??
.
.
.
Becoz the cat is dumb so it cant Mew. So Mew(coefficient of friction) is = 0. So it slips n falls
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ITS A 7 LETTER WORD.
IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS  SAME.
IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, IT STILL REMAINS SAME.
WHATZ IT ?
...
...
Ans : POSTBOX
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Why Brook shield didn't marry James bond???

....
....
....
Becoz she didn't want to become BROOK BOND!!!

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Out Of Office mails........

These are the best of the best "Out of Office" automatic email replies out there...

1) I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2) You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3) Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4) I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6) The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8) Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9) I've run away to join a different circus.

10) I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.

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Puzzles...

Try To Answer the puzzles and then Look into the answers section....its so funny and interesting too......Use your brain........

1	Sand	Answer = Sandbox
2	Man Board	Answer = Man Overboard
3	Stand I	Answer = I Understand
4	r/e/a/d/i/n/g	Answer = Reading Between The Lines
5	R ROAD A D	Answer = Cross Road
6	cycle cycle cycle	Answer = Tricycle
7	t o w n	Answer = Downtown
8	0 M.D. Ph.D.	Answer = Two Degrees Below Zero
9	knee light	Answer = Neon Light
10	dice dice	Answer = Paradise
11	mind matter	Answer = Mind Over Matter
12	he's / himself	Answer = He's Beside Himself
13	ecnalg	Answer = Backward Glance
14	death / life	Answer = Life After Death

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