Thursday, January 14, 2010

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Kashmir belongs to India
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began:
 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named. When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought,  What a good opportunity to have a bath”. He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.' The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, “What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then
The Indian representative smiled and said, “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech”
And they say Kashmir belongs to them...

Ek bechaara gareeb aadami 2 din se bhookhaa baitha hotaa hai. Usse ek murgi dikhaayi deti hai... woh uss murgi ko pakad ke ghar le aata hai... aur apani Biwi se kehtaa hai... "Aaj hum log kuchh khaa sakenge. Ek murgi pakad me aayi hai"
Biwi kehati hai “ghar me na toh tel hai... na gas... ya ghaaslate... na masaala... nal me 3 din se paani tak nahee aaya hai... kaise pakaaungi?”
Wo aadami sochataa hai fiir bechaari murgi ko maar ke kyaa faayda... aur uss murgi ko chhod detaa hai.
Murgi khushee khushee chillati hai...
"Congress Jindaabad... Congress Jindaabad"

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order! Order!"
Santa responded immediately, "Thank you, your honour! I will have a scotch and soda."

A man shopping in a supermarket took his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter.
The cashier asked ,”sir, do you have a dog?”
yes Replied the man.
well, where is it?” asked the cashier.
I left him home” He answered.
sorry.” The cashier said. “You can’t buy the dog food if I can’t see the dog. That’s the rules
The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.
Do you have a cat?” asked the cashier.
yes,” he said, “but I left him home
sorry” The cashier said. “You can’t buy the cat food if I can’t see the cat. That’s the rules
The next day the man walked into the store with a brown bag. He walked up to the cashier and said, “Put your hand in here.”
The cashier put her hand in and said ,”it’s soft and warm. What is it?”
The man replied “I’d like three rolls of toilet paper please !”

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