Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard).
They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND".
But unfortunately, in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER” in just 30-45 words.
So Billooo was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do!!!
Tillooo gave an idea . . . . Just write the essay My best friend & just keep on replacing the word friend with the father..
So this was how Billooo & Tillooo wrote the essay "MY FATHER":
Fathers & fathers are everywhere, but good fathers are very rare. I have so many fathers, but my best father is pyarelal. He is my neighbour. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much......
Doctor to patient : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.
Pappu : Doctor saheb Pehle se zyada kharab ho gayi hai.
Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?
Pappu : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : Are Pappu ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li
thi kya.
Pappu : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.
Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?
Pappu : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.
Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?
Pappu : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.
Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet
me dala tha k nai?
Pappu : Nai doctor saheb.
Doctor : Kyon?
Pappu : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.
Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.
Pappu : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band
rakhna.
Doctor : Tera ilaj main nai kar sakta.
Pappu : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".
The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."
Before Marriage - - -
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top
Musharaff wanted to raise money for his country, and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. however at the local auction, the going price was very high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. he figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. to his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day in the local paper:
'MUSHARAFF'S ASS SHOWS'.
Mian sahib was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again,and this time it won. the paper read:
'MUSHARAFF'S ASS OUT IN FRONT'.
His wife was so upset with this kind of publicity that she ordered mian musharaff not to enter the donkey in another race.
The paper headline read:
'WIFE SCRATCHES MUSHARAFF'ASS'.
This was too much for wife. so she ordered musharaff to get rid of the donkey. Mian sahib decided to give it to benazir.
The paper headline the next day read:
'BENAZIR TAKES MUSHARAFF'S ASS'.
Followed by another on the next day:
'NOW BENAZIR HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN'.
All the opposition leaders got very upset at this kind publicity. They informed benazir that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for Rs.500.
Next day the headline read:
'BENAZIR SELLS HER ASS FOR RS.500'.
This was too much for the veteran opposition leader, nawabzada nasrullah khan, so he ordered benazir to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free.
Next day, the headline in the paper read:
'BENAZIR ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE'.
Once, in the morning, two idiots were quarelling. The first idiot was saying that there is sun in the sky, while other was claiming that there is moon in the sky.
Then they saw a man passing by and decided to ask him what is there in the sky. Both the idiots went to him and asked whether there is sun in the sky or moon. The man stared at both of them and then replied, "Sorry, I am new in this village."
Doctor : "That is due to old age".
Old woman : "But both of my legs are of the same age"......
Dr. Ke Band Clinic Ke Age Lambi Line Thi
Ek Sardar Bar Bar Line Mein Ghusta
Loag Usko Pakar Kar Piche Phenk Dete
Sardar : Lage Raho Saalo Mein Bhi Clinic Nahi Kholunga
Apni bibi ki anthim sanskar kar ek admi ghar laut raha tha.
Beech raste mein jor se hawa chalne lagi, badal garjane lage,
bijli chamki aur tej barish hone lagi. Aadmi ne kaha,
"Lag raha hai ki wah wahan pauch gayi hai."
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
